Personality

You know how people say that children have their own personalities? Well, it's true.

And you know how people say that a normal and healthy part of two-year-old behavior is testing limits? Well, that's true, too. 

These statements seem very la de da, well isn't that nice, both in their simple truthfulness, and in our ability to dismiss them as just that: simple. But a child's sense of self, and her relationship with the world are really anything but simple. I mean, are yours? Bless you if they are!

Maisy is such a delight to Dave and me, and (we think) to our friends and family. She is loving, empathetic, creative, energetic, expressive, and thoughtful. Her expressiveness is verbal -- the girl talks! a lot! -- and physical -- she dances! she spins! she climbs! she jumps! she hugs! She is quick to learn, and has (to us) an amazing memory. I could go on, but as much as this blog is about Maisy, it isn't meant to be some sort of catalog of her virtues, a virtual "look at how amazing my kid is!" No, that's not my intent. I just want to lead with the delightful stuff. That's how I want to live my life.

But of course it's not all delightful. There are traits that bring with them positive attributes, as well as challenging ones. Take, for example, Maisy's strong will. When Maisy wants to do something, in a certain way, at a certain time, that. is. what. she. wants. Period. And if you've set a limit around the "something", well, you'd better believe she's going to test it. Of course, as I said above, this is "normal and healthy behavior" for a child her age. And, because there's a lot of dialogue in our relationship, we can often talk through things and help Maisy find her way (or, as the case may be, the way that we would prefer). Often. But not always.

She has a strong will. 

Recently, we have seen the force of Maisy's will shine forth, brightly and loudly, through her demands to be tucked-in, and re-tucked-in, and for multiple middle-of-the-night visits. It's kind of like having a newborn, where just as you put them down to sleep, they start to wail, and you have to start all over again. Or where the tiny baby wakes to nurse every few hours, like clockwork, through the night. Except this is a 2.5-year-old. After weeks of this -- since Thanksgiving, maybe? -- Dave and I have tried various approaches without success, but are feeling a bit more hopeful after talking with Kathy, the director of Maisy's preschool.

Kathy suggested we have a "family meeting" to talk about how no one is getting enough sleep, and to together make a list of ways to help Maisy sleep through the night. At our meeting, Maisy contributed gems like "jump after dinner" and "wear socks to bed". Dave and I added, "If Maisy wakes up, mama or daddy will come into her room to help, but only one time." 

It's going... well... it's going. Last night Maisy's "one time" (which she understands perfectly well, having recounted accurately for days and days exactly how many times we'd come to her call during the night, e.g., "Daddy came three times last night") was about 5 minutes after being tucked in. She proceeded to stand in her crib crying and yelling for about 3 hours. Then she started to fade, but (here is where the strong will comes in! what? you thought she's already shown it? just wait.) she remained standing and drifted in and out of sleep until about 3:30 in the morning. Don't believe me?

A photo of the image from Maisy's video monitor.
She is standing with her arm over the side of the crib, her head resting on her arm.
Asleep.

At 3:30 she must have caught a second wind from her standing snoozing: she climbed out of her crib and came into our room chatting away as if it were midday. (She had never climbed out of her crib before. I am afraid!) I took her back to her crib, and she slept -- laying down -- until her usual waking time. Phew! It can only get better, right?

I certainly admire Maisy's strong will, her fortitude, and the strength she shows pushing back against our limits. These traits may serve her well in life. But it's much easier to say this in black and white, typing on my computer, than it is to live it. I'm tired! But as I said, it can only get better. Life with a child is one phase after another, each one seeming as if it will never end, but still somehow ending.

Of course our lives are not limited to sleep challenges, and are full of other wonderful moments together as a family, and with friends. I'll wrap-up with a few photos that make me smile.

January 5, 2013
Maisy and Ella

January 7, 2013
Birthday hike with Naomi at Tennessee Valley

January 7, 2013
Birthday cupcakes with Dave/Daddy